Tuesday, 18 February 2014

Punctuation Points

We edited this piece of writing using the above scoring system. How many points can you score?


there it was hovering in the doorway like a bee around honey it seemed to be gazing at something that I couldnt quite see whilst the shadows seemed to be getting darker and gloomier by the minute I slowly took a small step to left so as to get a better view it couldnt be an insect because it didnt have wings yet it certainly was living as it was moving my eyes were mini cameras trying to zoom into focus mysteriously the object began to make sudden jerky movements what was it doing

it was time to dig deep to find whatever courageous feelings I had and move towards the entity the smell of rust and electrical fumes hung in the air making it harder to breathe maybe this was something to do with the object like a lion stalking its prey I cautiously tiptoed through the jungle of jagged paving slabs into the unknown it was so eerie silence became a distant memory as suddenly large mechanical what seemed to be robots were being lined up side by side now i understood I whispered



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